I have been in Prague for 8 months now. It's insane how much time has passed by already. The autumn transition into Christmas has been absolutely magical. No one does Christmas lights quite like Europe. About a week ago, I came up from the metro near my flat and all of a sudden the entire square was lit with a white glow. I literally had to sit there for a second just to marvel.

This year is has been quite the adventure to say the least. I am in the normal self-reflection mood (as I am nearly every December) - just looking back on all my hardships, obstacles, miracles, and gratitude. This year has BY FAR been the most difficult and the most rewarding experience I could ever imagine. It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day life that I have occasionally forgotten I AM LIVING IN PRAGUE!!




This autumn (year really) threw some curve balls at me. In August, my grandfather passed away due to a cardiac arrest. My grandma's dementia has progressed and worsened since this loss. In September, I lost a close friend of almost 8 years and my sister got married. In October, one of my best and life long friends passed away. I couldn't go to either funeral because of visa and money issues. I am writing this so matter of fact, but the truth of the matter is... I hurt. I [still] feel a heavy loss, but I have confirmed something I have already known true to myself -- I am resilient. I have pushed through and come out on the other end more sensitive, empathetic, wise, and spiritually grown through each hurdle. Resiliency is something that I am extremely thankful to have. Sometimes that means we take two steps back for a bit, but finding resiliency means we always recognize that we are those two steps back and we grit our way back.

Thinking back on where I was this time last year to where I am now is honestly nothing short of a work of God, Universe, Spirit. I was in an extremely manipulative, abusive relationship... (if you can even call it that), after I had recently ended my 5 year relationship. It was my first time being single in my adult life and I had no idea what the hell I was doing to be honest. I was figuring out what 'dating' meant and I was figuring out who I was and what I wanted to do without being committed to another person. I had no idea how to sit with myself, so there I was, slipping right into my co-dependent ways that I swore I recovered from after my first wonderful and healthy relationship. Now here I am, after I finally crawled myself out of that dynamic when I moved across the world to Prague. I wouldn't exactly say I condone running from your problems, but I do firmly believe in leaving toxic people that do not serve you. I do believe in giving yourself space away from people who make you question who you are. I do believe in loving detachment.



Now, I am in this beautiful city, learning what it means to build a life. I have a blank slate and I'm slowing drawing the blueprint of what I want my life to look like. I am cleared from all other pre-existing loyalties. I am completely in control. I have built a community of friends and people here that I can truly rely on. I am actually visiting home soon on the 19th for two weeks. I'm, of course, thrilled to see my family, but part of me is nervous. I'm nervous to come back to Prague feeling homesick. I don't want to feel that way again so quickly after I just got over the first rush of homesickness. Prague is starting to feel like home. My home. 2018 was a year of utter and complete panic for me. Now that everything is starting to settle, I can't wait to see what next year has in store for me. <3 See you all soon, Illinois fam. (How lucky am I that i get TWO homes?)