To be honest, yesterday I was feeling a bit emotional on my first night officially in Prague. I was being super negative. Only thinking about how alone I was, nervous I wouldn’t make any friends, afraid of all the change. I felt more overwhelmed, not to mention exhausted from my backwards sleep schedule (my jet lag is much worse this time). I laid in bed until 4am. 

I’ve come to the realization this year that I am definitely an introvert. In my adult life, I always thought of myself as an extrovert. I spent most of my teenage years speaking my mind loudly, talkative in school settings, and way less social anxiety. It took a lot of reading and personality tests to convince myself that I was an introvert. 

A big piece of me didn't want to be an introvert. They typically get a bad rap, as people normally think they are "stand off-ish" or "rude." I get so jealous of extroverts - they demand a room. The people who have Energizer bunny level energy. They are masters of initiating conversations with strangers. They always have someone to say yes to a night out. Extroverts are always wanted. 
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Introverts want all the same things that extroverts want, but just present better. I too want to have conversations with random humans, walk into a place alone without wanting to throw up, vocalize my thoughts and feelings, have energy. Some of this is due to my social anxiety, although not all introverts suffer from anxiety. A main symptom is the fear of what others are thinking (ding-ding-ding). Imagine all this...ABROAD? Most people think I am crazy for being here alone in the first place (extroverts included). 

As I am doing more diving into my introvertedness, I am overcoming many obstacles, but also embracing all the benefits. I am using this experience to develop my sense of self and learn that I am enough. That I could find and make friends starting anew in a different country. I want to do something new every day. I want to find peace that I couldn't seem to find back in Chicago.

Today, I forced myself to get up and moving. I got myself a cappuccino. Prague knows their espresso! I adventured in #MalaStrana and ate Italian food at a table alone without checking my phone. I grocery shopped where every label was only in Czech (Hope my salad dressing tastes good!). To top it all off, I had my first Czech pivo today. Na Zdravi!